And the world keeps turning.

Chaos can reign supreme on some days. Your friends seem to be ignoring you. Your family doesn't approve of your new lover. Everything that can go wrong at work does. Your finances are a joke. Bombs are going off 800 miles away, or maybe right in your backyard. Either way, your day isn't going well.

Moments like these are a good time to reflect upon one absolute truth in this world: you are going to die someday and all of the bullshit your dealing with now will simply not matter. You will have bigger fish to fry.

Until then, bask in the glory that is chaos, for it will stand as a constant reminder that you are still alive.

It is in fact Spring...much to someone's chagrin.

It's supposed to rain almost everyday for the next week. This Saturday is currently the only day until next Friday that Mr. Weatherman isn't predicting rain. People keep bitching and making memes about how our Spring this year has been hitherto non-existent. I'd like to know exactly what the fuck they're talking about! The ice on the lakes continues to melt, the snow is almost gone. April showers, May flowers, motherfucker! Be patient!

Yours in Christ,

-Jay

The travelling carnival show

Some people in this world need a home base, somewhere they can "come home" to. Others, like myself, see home as a place where my stuff lives and where I can sleep at night after being out and about. Still others see the home base concept as something to extend into every aspect of life, to where even the most mundane tasks requires a "base camp" to be set up. I see some of my friends doing this and I laugh. They like to think they're "prepared", making sure the creature comforts of home are with them at all times and in any and all situations. But there's a difference between "being prepared" and the "logistical support systems" some people use when doing just about anything.

-Jay

Too many thoughts, too many questions

I have way too much banging around in my head right now to write a concise thought here today. This post has changed titles and topics five or six times since this morning. I have a number of realities bearing down on me at once, issues I will need to deal with soon. I'm trying not to let the pressures of the future tense get in the way of the daily grind. Maybe I'm taking some things too personally. Maybe I just need to organize and collect my thoughts, taking on each topic one at a time.

Maybe I just need to relax.

-Jay

Go, Speed Racer, Go!

I believe very strongly in the idea of trying your hardest to live your unlived life and to do so as early in your adulthood as possible. Your dreams and desires are there for a reason, to be realized. It's not always easy to do, especially if you dream big. I try not to have any regrets, but I do have one: when I was in middle school I had a dream of becoming a race car driver (insert Primus joke here) after I had driven a car for the first time, (a raspberry-colored 1977 Corvette, no less.) I have loved driving ever since then, but my dream has hitherto been unfulfilled. I would absolutely love to try my hand at racing. I have no fear behind the wheel of, well, just about anything, really. I have driven over a million miles since I got my license back in 1989 and have a pretty good "feel" for the vehicle underneath me when I drive. College is certainly putting a damper on all of this. There are racing clubs out there and people race street-legal vehicles all the time, but it's an expensive hobby and I can barely keep up with the maintenance on my 1998 VW Golf!

Perhaps I should start small, though I'm a bit big for go-karts!

-Jay

Spring is in the air!

It is too nice of a day to be cooped up indoors. So, I won't be.

See you tomorrow.

-Jay

Aummmmmmmmm...

I started a program of meditation today. With the help of an app on my smart phone that plays binaural beats and isochronic tones mixed in with some music, I am meditating first thing in the morning for about 15 minutes to start and right before bed for 20 minutes. I tried the bedtime meditation last night and I was asleep in less than a half hour.

I am one of those people whose mind is constantly racing and never seems to want to shut off. If you ask me what I'm thinking about I will probably lie to you and say, "Nothing." This is most likely because I don't think you're ready to accept just how warped my thoughts can be sometimes.

I'm trying out meditation because I need to find a way to quiet my mind and maintain focus.

Back to the grind

I spent the last week on Spring Break...doing nothing...except writing an essay, reading two books (one for school, one for pleasure,) and eating out more than I probably should. I need to do a better job of scheduling  activities for myself during breaks. I spent one day out doing stuff, only to have my car break down. The rest of the week involved too much TV, YouTube videos, and me staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning. At least I got out of the house long enough to visit family and friends for Easter weekend!

Just imagine what Summer is going to be like!

Cheers!

-Jay